she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Rumble strips road head = magical
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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