Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
