he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
