Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
