I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize