Already got asked if we're dating
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
