sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The air taste purple.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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