When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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