Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
