I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
