I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
