My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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