is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
