I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
