you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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