i would punch a child for taco bell
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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