She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
