kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
