After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
