I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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