i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
