Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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