remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it hurts more in the daytime
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
