why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
