Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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