you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
