Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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