Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Your tits are I can't wait for
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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