guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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