I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
