K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
