It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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