I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
