Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
