We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
