its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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