it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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