it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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