i can't believe i had my finger in that
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
