summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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