he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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