I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
