You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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