why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize