He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ladies don't puke and tell
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
