happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
