You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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