somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
