I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
