i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
