You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
