Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I see more hoeing in ur future
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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