I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
