I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
