lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
