Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
