Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am available for nakedness
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
