When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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