I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
